Beginning writers are often advised to “write what you know,” that way words and stories and emotions will resound authentically. The general public has glommed on to this aphorism and often conflates “write what you know” with “write your actual lived experience”. Erotica and erotic romance writers especially fall victim to this definition. We get a lot of “heh, heh” “snicker, snicker” at parties and such, because of course we’ve all done every blessed thing our characters have done. Sigh….