About the Story

Quarantine should be life as usual for Kyle, an online gamer homebody. But the constant presence and noise of his apartment neighbors is hell for the introvert. He turns to his favorite gamer pal, SassyKat, for consolation in the form of zombie kill-counts and good-natured teasing. Then, a fire alarm changes their relationship for good.

Noob at Love

A Love in Lockdown Story

Ava Cuvay

Contents

Noob at Love

Noob at Love

“I got the K-Pop princess on the other side of my bedroom wall, the couple in the apartment above arguing 24/7, and the guy across the hall blaring 80s gameshows. I can’t even go to the workout room without running into someone. This quarantine is fucking with my sanity!” Kyle bitched through his headset to SassyKat as his buxom female character loped through a digital post-apocalyptic landscape searching for zombies, weapons, and salty snacks.

The graphics of this game were good, but the player-character dynamic felt…off. Unnatural. Like they weren’t in sync.

Which was a funny sentiment, coming from someone whose only interaction with real people since even before the pandemic was the Grubhub driver, the store clerk at the mini-mart down the street when he was jonesing for a Red Bull, and SassyKat, his online gamer gal pal and occasional friendly ear to whine to.

Music drifted through his headset speakers. Not Kat’s usual Nü Metal style, it was light and upbeat and…Argh! It was the fucking Price is Right theme song.

“Dammit! Now, I’ll never get rid of that ear worm!”

Her throaty laugh drowned out the song. “Sorry, not sorry.”

“That’s it, KittyKat, you die.” A few quick moves on his controller, and his character shoulder-butted Kat’s off a platform and onto a small cluster of zombies.

They mobbed her, and she squealed through the headset. “Ah, you suck! Why you gotta be a griefer?”

She managed to extricate her character from the clutches of the undead. As usual, Kyle assisted by taking out a few. He had a soft spot for Kat. They’d never met offline, but he considered her his best friend. And how stupid was that? She probably lived on the other side of the world. Hell, she was probably married. Or preferred women. They didn’t talk about personal information. Sure, some details had come out over the years, but she usually avoided them, and he didn’t ask because he didn’t want to be that creep. Still, he’d give his mint condition ’79 Millennium Falcon from Kenner, complete with Jedi training remote, to level-up their friendship.

“I saw what you did there with the zombies. Listen, I’m sorry your life is so hard, with your neighbors home all the time, now.” She didn’t sound the least bit sorry. Quite the contrary, she mocked him as only a good friend can. “How tragic is it that this pesky quarantine is hindering LiffHocker’s reclusive lifestyle?”

“It’s pronounced Life Hacker, ya noob.” Kyle chuckled at the good-natured ribbing. He deserved it for having allowed youthful hubris to influence his chosen gamer moniker so many years ago. Yeah, he could change it, but why? Everyone in the industry knew him as LyfHakker. Would Zuckerberg change his name just because it was lame? No. “The point is, how can I be an anti-social shut-in if I’m surrounded by people all the time?”

“You’re not a shut-in, Hakker. You just work from home, and all of your friends are gamers—wait, zombies on your nine.” Kat’s bulked-up character sprinted across the littered swath of cars on a highway and joined him in a no-scope barrage of overkill gunfire at the undead lumbering from the tree line. The impact graphics were pretty intense, and the red hit markers erupted like fireworks as the two of them laid waste to a zombie horde.

Immediate threat fragged, Kat continued, “As I was saying, all your friends are online gamers. You have no real reason to leave your home, other than to attend one or two big Cons.”

“And those Cons have been cancelled, just like my life. Ugh, quit trying to make me feel better. I just want to feel sorry for myself. Cry in my Red Bull and all that.”

“Oh, ya wanna be salty, bruh? Fine. Take this.”

Kyle turned his first-person shooter POV toward Kat’s character just in time to watch her cut him down with friendly fire. His health status plummeted, and his screen hazed to red before transitioning to an overhead view of his dead body prone on the ground. “Did you just fucking PK me? That’s so trash! Now, I gotta respawn back at the set-down point.”

“Yeah, but at least you’re not pissin’ about your neighbors being home all the time anymore.”

Her voice held more than a little note of satisfaction. If he didn’t like Kat so much, he might have walked away from the game. But the game was just a means to an end. The real goal was time with the woman who’d been his go-to gamer cohort for the past three years, even if it was just her voice. He liked her voice. Liked her attitude. Liked that she got him.

She sighed. “I get you, ya know.”

Ha! She even admits it! He might have teased her about it, but the note of sadness in her voice stopped him. This conversation wasn’t about him anymore. He eased back against the couch cushions and rested his controller on his thigh, his digital character forgotten in the wake of concern for Kat. “Hey, KittyKat. What’s going on? What’s wrong?”

A flash on the screen caught his eye. Her character had respawned next to his. She’d died in the field, no doubt because she was too caught up in what was making her sad to fight zombies. She sighed again, deeper this time, longer. “I’m just scared. Terrified, to be honest, about this pandemic.”

Her voice was small, with the slightest quaver like she was about to cry. All her bravado and sass were stripped away, and it tore a hole in his heart to hear her so vulnerable and him helpless to do anything.

“It’s just…” She inhaled a trembling breath. “You know how mom has cancer. She’s going through chemo, and it makes her high-risk for catching things. She’s in good hands, but that means I can’t go visit her… because…”

“Because you might carry the virus to her,” he finished softly. His own parents were states away, and he only visited a few times a year anyway. While he was concerned about their health, especially now, he didn’t have the burden of worrying that he might give it to them. That hugging them could be deadly. “Kat, I can’t imagine—”

“I’m sorry I’m such a killjoy.” She laughed, but it came out a choking sob instead. “I’ll get offline for a few minutes, and—”

“No, don’t go!” Kyle vaulted up from his couch, his hand outstretched as if he could physically stop her from leaving their online chat. “It’s okay to be upset, I would be too. Just don’t go… don’t think you have to handle this… that you have to be sad or cry… alone.”

Was he assuming too much? What if she wasn’t alone? What if she already had an emotional support person? A friend. Or a boyfriend. Online relationships could be as treacherous as any other. But, just like his games, if she shot him down, he’d at least get another chance to come back and try again. “I wish I could be where you are, to be a shoulder you can cry on. You know, give you a hug if you needed it. But I’m still here for you, if you ever need a friend or someone to talk to. Or just someone to forget about life and kill zombies with.”

A broken assent from the other end, and then soft sobs and sniffles rang in his headset as he sat on the couch again. Kyle had no words of wisdom to offer, and Kat seemed content to just cry. So, he waited, wishing he could do more. At least she was still there, wherever there was, on the other end of their game chat. After several minutes, her sobs tapered off, and she regained her voice, although it was thick with emotion. “Thanks. I needed that. It was all bottled up from the past couple weeks.”

“It’s ok; I understand. The clouds rain when things get heavy, too.”

“Did you spout some dorky inspirational meme to me?” Her sniffle turned to a giggle-snort.

Maybe some teasing would help bring her out of her funk. “Well, yeah. What else was I gonna do? I mean, it’s not like your problems compare to mine. Seriously, have you ever listened to K-Pop?”

“That’s it, next time we play, you are so gonna get rekt.” Her threat held no heat. In fact, she chuckled. Then turned serious, almost hesitant. “Listen, Hakker. Thanks for being with me just now. I, um, wish you could be where I am, too. Sometimes I wish…we weren’t just online. That we could chat in person. And…hug.”

“Seriously?” Kyle jackknifed to his feet again, his heart pounding. “You’re not just saying that because I snipe zombies for you?”

“What are ya, a noob at love?” The laughter through his headset was one hundred percent SassyKat. “You have a steady job. You don’t live with your parents. You work out, so you obviously take care of your body with the exception of your Red Bull addiction. You’re funny, and not a total tool. You’re a swipe-right-all-day-long kind of guy.”

I’m a swipe-right kind of guy. He couldn’t stop the smile that lifted his lips or the joy that lifted his spirit. “You wouldn’t know this from my avatar, but you can also add devastatingly handsome to my list of—”

The blare of a fire alarm cut him off, drowning out everything with its bone-jarring cacophony.

“Shit. Fire. I gotta evacuate the building.” He tossed the headset onto the couch and grabbed his phone, keys, and face mask out of their tray as he exited his apartment. Neighbors poured into the halls, muttering behind their masks and trying to socially distance while scurrying to safety. Kyle cringed, uncomfortable with not having the halls and stairs all to himself. Residents spilled forth, pouring out of the complex and onto the sidewalk and street to wait.

Kyle stood off to the side, social distancing more than necessary because…ew, people. The fire trucks arrived with ear-piercing fanfare. This could be a long night of standing and waiting for the greenlight to return to his apartment. Might as well make a trip to the mini-mart for a Red Bull. He turned to saunter down the street, whistling that damn The Price is Right theme song and thinking about his recent conversation with Kat.

“LiffHokker?” A woman’s voice called to him from the crowd. Who here would know his online tag? And why the hell had she mispronounced it? Only Kat was allowed to do that.

He spun to see a woman walking toward him like she’d seen a ghost. About his age, short with a curvy silhouette, a messy bun of brown hair atop her head, and a pixie face from what he could see around her I Paused My Game To Be Here face mask. She wore torn yoga pants and a sloppy sweatshirt, but she was the prettiest thing he’d seen in a long while. Not that he was dressed to impress in his Adidas slides, mesh athletic shorts, and GenCon tee. He cleared his throat. “Excuse me. It’s pronounced Life Hacker.”

“Ohmygod, it’s you!” Her eyes popped wide like saucers as she checked him out. “I was gonna give you shit about the devastatingly handsome comment. But you weren’t lying.”

What was she blathering about? He hadn’t talked to anyone—

“Holy shit! SassyKat?” Was he dreaming? “Is it really you?”

“In the flesh.” She nodded and waved like this was an awkward first date. “I live on the sixth floor, north wing. You had a fire alarm the same time I heard mine. Then I heard you whistle that damn Price is Right theme song. I thought it was just a crazy coincidence, but… Wow.”

He shook his head. “Crazy is right. How is it possible we live in the same complex and have never crossed paths before?”

She hit him with a look like he was a dumbass. “You’re a reclusive shut-in, ya noob. When was the last time you actually walked outside?”

Good point. “Christmas. I caught an Uber to the airport to see my folks.” He didn’t know what to do with his hands. He usually held a game controller when he and Kat chatted. He stuck them in his pockets. “By the way, I’m Kyle. Kyle Morris. It’s a pleasure to meet you in person, Kat.”

She shook her head, laughing. “Not Kat. Haillee Swanson. Haillee, with all the extra letters and a star over the i when I’m feeling extra fancy.”

“Haillee.” He rolled her name around on his tongue a few times.

She fussed at the hem of her sweatshirt with a faded cat print. Her online persona was borderline heartless, taunting, and quick to take advantage of any weaknesses. The woman standing before him lacked some of Kat’s confidence but made up for it with a quirky sweetness that endeared her to him even more. “It suits you. It’s as lovely as you are.

She rolled her eyes and laughed. She was, after all, still SassyKat. Then she coughed and looked at the pavement. “Hakk—er, Kyle, I, uh, mentioned earlier that I wished we lived nearby so we could talk. And…um, hug.”

He spread his arms wide. “Step right up, KittyKat. I want this, too.”

Laughing, she stepped into his arms and wrapped her own around his back. She wasn’t sad or crying, and neither of them needed any emotional comfort, but the touch gripped his heart and a lump bloomed in his throat. Even before the quarantine, his interactions with real people had been scarce and physical touch non-existent. He’d forgotten how awesome a simple hug could be. Even better was a hug from someone he liked as well as Ka—er, Haillee.

Was it possible they could build this online relationship into a real one?

He pulled away, not because he wanted to but because he didn’t want the hug to turn awkward or skeevy. “Look, wanna come to my place and shoot up some zombies? I mean, if you don’t mind the close proximity, ’cause I know you’re worried about your mom and all, and I haven’t deep cleaned because I never get visitors, but I have sanitizer—”

“Kyle, you can stop blathering. I think I’m safe from catching anything from you.” Haillee laughed and swatted his arm playfully. Then her expression sobered. “But I’m not in the mood for games right now. Can we just watch a movie instead?”

“Absolutely.” He turned toward the apartment building and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. Yeah, quarantine sucked, but it had helped him discover his best friend lived nearby. Maybe they could turn their friendship into something more. All the annoying neighbors in the world couldn’t wipe the smile off his face or sour the elation in his heart. Hell, he might even start listening to K-Pop.

About Ava Cuvay

Ava Cuvay writes out of this world romance featuring sass and sex set in a galaxy far, far away. She resides in central Indiana with her own scruffy-looking nerfherder and teen kiddos. When not writing, Ava is thinking about writing. Or wine. And she’s always thinking about bacon.

See more of Ava’s work at https://avacuvay.com.