Writers are often asked whether or not their characters and stories are based on their lives, on something real. Of course, all writing has some of the writer’s truth in it, but for the most part, many fiction writers write exactly that – fiction.
Like them, my characters and stories come from within – sprouting from an ethereal place and taking shape in my consciousness. There is one story however, that is 100% autobiographical (with a few minor tweaks to protect the not-so-innocent).
“Come to Me” in Best Lesbian Erotica 2012 is based on real people and real events. The main character is me (of course) and the story is mine, and I felt that it was such a good story that it needed telling. I was right.
It is a story about two women who engage in sweaty, steamy sex, to be sure, but it is so much more. It is about being a woman – and whatever that may or may not mean. It’s about self-discovery and love of self. But on the surface, it is about how I learned to masturbate.
Being a person of highly libidinous tendencies, it always kind of irked me that I could not get myself off. Through my teen years, whenever I tried, it was – just – no — good. Fortunately, I had plenty of sex, but still… there were times I just wanted to rub one out.
A few years ago, I met this blue-eyed American butch who taught me how to really love my self. She didn’t give me lessons per se (I know my way around a pussy), but rather she taught me that masturbation is not an act of sexual desperation to be indulged in only when you are lacking a dance partner, but rather, an act of self-love that can and should be engaged in whether you have a partner or not. She taught me that being my own lover, satisfying my self, and getting down and dirty with my own body, was fucking hot. She taught me how to get turned on by me.
Cory and I had a brief, albeit torrid love affair, that ended in a literal tragedy. Prior to her I had only been attracted to femmes, but as an added bonus, she taught me how scorching hot butches can be. She is gone now, but I learned more from being with her for a much-too-short six months than I learned from any other lover (including my wife of almost fifteen years). I will always treasure these lessons (in fact, I just may ‘treasure’ one of them right now).
Excerpt from “No, Tell Me How You Really Feel” from Girls Who Score: Hot Lesbian Erotica:
I sit high up in the bleachers waiting for the game to start, dressed in tight jeans, sneakers, and a hoodie emblazoned with the school’s crest pulled up over my head, obscuring my face. Yes, I have school spirit, but no one has to know about it. So, once a week during volleyball season, I don my “average person” disguise so I can attend the games without ruining my reputation with the coffee-house crowd.
The announcer starts calling out the names over the loudspeaker. This is my favorite part. “Number Twenty-Three and captain of the Lady Blue Jays, Julianne Murphy!”
She trots out of the hallway and into the gym/auditorium and stands there looking around. The bleachers are half empty, which is an improvement from previous games. I guess her efforts to engage the student body are working. She looks happy and I want to slap her. Doesn’t she realize that there is more to life than sports? More to life than just refining your, admittedly hot, body? What about cultivating your brain? I shake my head. Jocks don’t have brains, I remind myself. She dominates the court, spikes the ball into the faces of our enemies and brings home the win. I go home and rub my clit raw thinking about how much she annoys me.
Author Bio: ILY GOYANES is a journalist, food blogger, culture critic, publisher, and a widely published erotic fiction writer. She writes the viral food column “Fuming Foodie” for the Miami New Times (Village Voice Media) and is editor-in-chief of Arketipo187 Magazine, a digital publication that covers news, culture, and lifestyle. You can sample her writing in Best Lesbian Erotica 2012, Lesbian Cops: Erotic Investigations, Spankalicious: Erotic Adventures in Spanking, Power Plays, and Girls Who Score: Hot Lesbian Erotica. Follow Ily on Twitter @realily and follow her small press @ampersanded.